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Creative ADDers

My Life

By Leanne (aged 16)

As I walk along head spinning, knee sore
Walk past secretary, you look fine she says to me
And watch you don't walk into a wall
"They've got to last" I hear her say
I felt like saying It's not Physically I have the pain
Emotionally and Mentally I feel the strain
Why does life have to be like this
The same pain over and over again
I want to yell, I want to scream
Why's it me again

The years of hurt
All fill me with pain and anger
Is it my fault I have ADD?
Or is it my fault, that life's a continual cycle of self harming, no confidence and no self belief
What have I done to have this life?

I feel so small
And they're so tall
The names, the hits and the kicks
Is it any wonder I'm truly thick

Tidy your room
Do your work
Concentrate
Thicko, Skitso, Siiko
It's all the same

They say sticks and stones might break your bones
But names certainly hurt deep down inside your heart
I sometimes cry myself to sleep,
What will happen tomorrow?
Maybe someone will speak to them
Give them 10 minutes and they're at it again

Stand up for your rights
Tell someone
Keep telling until someone listens
They will try to listen but won't take it in
Too busy to deal with you or me

Come to school and get shouted at
Go home and get shouted at
Go out on a night, will my legs be broken?
Will my heart be beating?
Will I be in a ditch half covered in mud and G-d knows what

Why don't they listen?
Why can't they help?
Why can't I cope?
Why am I like this?

My eyes swell up I want to cry
Cry baby I hear them cry
Head thumping
Life floating by
The years of anger and frustration that is why

I doubt they've been through all this
Or if they have not like this
The kicking you down when you feel great
The words they say, and me they hate
Why me, Please help

Who can I tell?
Mum and dad they don't seem to care
Dad reckons I deserve everything I get
Did I ask for any of this - No I think not
The looks they give me
Make me INSAIN
I want it all to stop
Can it stop? Will it stop?

How can I cope?
What should I do?
Can't just ignore it
I'll have to make do

People ask what do I want for Christmas,
What I want is something money can't by
I want to have fun
I want no hassle
I want a life free from agro for a week or two

I want to yell
I want to cry
I want someone who'll listen
G-d knows why
They try to listen
They try to help
They only do this to laugh at me

Why's all this happening to me
Not you or you or the man next door
I don't know how much more of this I can take before I die
Is there any point?
Is there any good in this uncertain world?

I want to work with children
I want to try
I want a childhood free from this crime
I want to do well in school
Most of all I want a good life

Schools the best time of your life I hear them say
Over and over again I want to cry
Why can't they be me?
And try to try

Tell us what's wrong my parents say
Why oh why should I tell them
What have they done for me?
If they care they should see my grief and hurt
Over and over in my head I feel it go

Day by day my life will go
How long left I want to know

Skitso, psychotic mad
They point and laugh
Why am I trapped in this land?
How I wish for fun
Just once in my world
Why does it have to be me?
Life aint fair- or not to me
I go to a lesson
Last 10 minutes
Walk out
Get dragged back
Why do I have to live in this awful world?

I get called into the deputy heads office
She begins to yell
Yell, Yell, yell
Does anyone care about me?

Go back to the lesson
The sniggering starts
Just what's the point, I want to know
They say they're here to help
And pigs might fly
Schools are meant to be safe
Then why do I feel trapped with no where to go?

CAN'T ANYONE SEE I'M DEPRESSED AND NEED SOME MORE HELP,
I GO FOR THE HELP THEY APPEAR NOT TO CARE JUST WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS LIFE OF MINE?

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